Friday, November 25, 2005

Cheeseburger in Paradise

The 2nd story – Had a great night’s sleep last night, and rewarded myself for the coming weekend with an amazing workout this afternoon… Leaving the gym I had an immediate desire to reward myself for the workout with a light meal and beer, but didn’t want to pay the prices at the hotel.

Went exploring, and quickly found a café called Oregano Steak and Ice Cream. Sounded about right. Sweating already (mostly from the workout, even after the shower), I ordered a cold beer and a menu and sat down. Lots of steak and burger choices on the menu at absolutely thrilling prices. Nothing more expensive than 70 cents. I settled on the “Smoked Burger”, for 60 cents, described as “smoked beef with mozzarella cheese in a bun. How could you go wrong?

Well… by not bringing my camera, for one. When it arrived, the bun looked great… but I couldn’t see the meat, and the lettuce was a strangely fresh-looking combination of green and black… I lifted the top of the bun. Getting a closer look at the lettuce, I looked away whilst removing it from the bun. That’s when I saw what must have been the burger, but I’m sure it’s what was left of the inside of a pair of red leather loafers I threw away last summer when preparing to move to Jakarta, which I was able to confirm when I tried to eat it. If the police did DNA tests on it, we would have matched. Wafer thin, curling on the sides, half the diameter of the bun in width and nearly equal in length, it refused to be chewed. It had, however, clearly been smoked.

The waitress endearingly disagreed with my analysis, confirming that yes, a smoked burger was on it’s plate in front of me. And who was I to argue? She worked there, and I’d never been there before. Well, what do you want for 60 cents, a burger? In consolation, I had correctly deduced the Indo for French fries, and they were almost OK. Fine, in fact, with a 2nd beer.

And that’s why living here is such a hoot – you just never know when the ridiculous will produce the sublime. Usually, if you let the ridiculous do it’s work, it WILL come up with something sublime… In other words, my favorite thing in life, next to my own imagination, is my sense of humor, which lives right next door. Keep that healthy, and being alive can’t get much better than it is right now.


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